I want it that way
by CristinaYang4ever
Summary: A short story about a what if. What if Cristina is given the second chance and life and travelled back in the AU when she was still an intern? Warning for OOC. Fluffy stuff.


I want it that way

A/N: This story was inspired by _Second Chance at life_ by _K. Charlotte_. I originally planned it to be one-shot, but I couldn't end it. So there will be another chapter. In this AU, Cristina was given a second chance at life, she travelled back in time when she was still an intern in SGH. Before she was given the second chance, she was the fifth consecutive winner of Harper Avery and she ran the institute until she died. She lived her dreams, but when she was too old to operate, she was left with nothing. So would she try to change her life if she's given the second chance at life? FYI, in this AU Cristina didn't have an ectopic pregnancy.

Cristina opened her eyes, and a chaos came into her sight. The room was familiar to her, the tops, books, snacks and takeaway boxes were everywhere. It was like a rubbish recycling yard. Cristina rubbed her temple, she changed a lot after she started to run the institute.

Her room used to be messy, but a director's office can't be messy. If she had to run a hospital, she had to remain organized. She was no longer the intern running around her apartment smelling every top to find a clean one. As time passed, she learned how to do laundry, she learned how to clean her room, she even learned how to cook. Nobody might believe the stubborn Cristina Yang would ever change herself, but she did. She was attached ever since she stepped feet into SGH. She did all the things she used to despise because she was too bored.

She recalled when the old woman asked her in the scrub room after the operation when she was still a resident, _what would you have if you could no longer hold a scalpel_? She was speechless at the time. When Ellis Grey told her she could have both, she really thought she could have. But then times and times she tried, and times and times she failed. She failed to live up to their expectations, she failed to give the men she loved the family they wanted.

Then the day finally came when she couldn't proceed with her career anymore, when she was too old to even look through the microscope, she was all alone. She didn't have friends because her person had her own family now. She didn't have family because her man either left her or was left behind. She had a lot of proteges but that was it. Cristina used to imagine her life with Meredith when the icicle pierced through her abdomen, she used to think they could live together and slice the baked chicken according to its anatomy.

Now when the day really came, she was left in a big house in silence. She was so bored that she started to clean her room and cooked simple meals because she watched all the surgical tapes hundreds of times and there was no one she could talk to. She didn't regret refusing to be a mother because she wouldn't be the kick ass surgeon changing the face of medicine if she was distracted by kids, she would end up a mediocre surgeon. But at those lonely moments she would imagine what if she had kids? What if she had somebody with her bloodline to talk to?

She knew she was being selfish for wanting both but she couldn't help herself. When Cristina Yang didn't want a kid, her reason was selfish. When Cristina Yang does want a kid, her reason is selfish as well. Selfishness defined her, she died the stubborn, selfish and miserable woman she had always been.

When her parents divorced, she was only 2. Her birth wasn't planned so her mother had to rush into the marriage with her father. Her father was working in wall street and had a busy schedule, he was focusing on his career so he couldn't contribute full time to his family. Growing up a spoiled princess, Helen (Cristina's mother) didn't expect anything less from her partner. She couldn't blame herself for her miserable marriage so she blamed her unwanted daughter.

Nobody could see this under her exterior full of confidence, but Cristina grew up acknowledging she was the unwanted kid, and then the death of her father seemed to prove to her she was not wanted. That was why she wanted her child to have parents who want them. That was why she didn't want children - she could die facing a car rushing into the ER and she didn't want them to experience the devastation she went through when her father died. Her step father Saul Rubenstein was an oral surgeon, though he is a surgeon who should have tight schedule, he opened his own private practice and managed to have a life out of his career. Cristina lived a cushy life, but she never had someone who loved her with all his/her heart. Saul, her step father, was kind to her but he's not her father.

Cristina chuckled at her retrospection. She cleaned her memory. She is twenty nine now and she's still an intern in SGH- the place her life really started. She's still in the secret relationship with Burke. At this stage, he was more a booty call than her boyfriend. Cristina's heart ached at the name of the man abandoned her at the altar.

The older a person get, the longer she spent looking back upon her life. At the last moment of her life, she couldn't think of anyone but him- the man who stole her heart with a coffee. He was the opposite of Owen, he couldn't separate his life with his work. He punished her at work whenever she was being a crappy girlfriend. She used to hate him for doing that, but only when he left did she find that she could hold a heart every day when he was here because he wouldn't really 'punish' her. She told Meredith she missed him for the surgery, but it was more than that. She missed his smell, she missed his crack in the chin, she missed his piercing brown eyes. She missed everything about him.

*Tik tok, tik tok* The clock's ticking sound dragged Cristina out of her world. She checked her time and it hit her that she had a booty call with Burke before her shift starts. Her face blushed at the thought of Burke's rigid body. _It has been so long since the last time she touched him. Meredith was right, you never think the last time would be the last because you think there would be more_. Cristina rode her motorcycle to the hospital. She was planning to purchase a car after her shift. She was too old for all the fast and the furious. Given the second chance at life, she just wanted to make it work.

When she reached the lab, Burke was already there. There wasn't much words exchanged, Cristina buried herself in the mind-blowing sex. She hadn't gotten any for so long. With every earth shattering thrust, she couldn't help but scream on her orgasm. Again, she was late for her shift. Cristina put on her bra and panties in a rush. Her waist was so sore that she couldn't feel its existence, she was quaking in her shoes. She spoke first this time, "It was definitely worth being late."

"You topped it this morning." Burke lifted his pants with satisfaction on his face, "Thank you!"

Cristina put a strand of her hair behind her ears and remained silent. Burke implied with half hesitation and half expectation, "Shall we talk about this?"

"Of course, but not now." Cristina turned around her shoulder whilst she was opening the door and added, "I'm late for the round and so are you."

When Cristina scurried to the patient ward, the doctors were talking to the extremely obese lady at her bedside. She remembered the patient whose tumor she held for twelve hours but still didn't make it. A spark flashed through her eyes, she was determined to save her. Bailey shot a dirty look at her but didn't bother to scold her when the attending was present because that would make her look bad. Burke was already there, he was examining Mrs. Connors with a serious face. He glanced at Cristina and he knew what was going on in her mind. He turned to the patient, "Dr. Stevens and Dr. Yang would take you to the CT, this would allow us to know more about the tumor and then we would know what to do next."

"Can Alex take me to do the CT? He looks funny." Mrs. Connors demanded.

"Ok, Dr. Karev will take you to the CT. Dr. Yang will go and talk to your family." Burke wouldn't give up on putting his girl on the case.

Cristina was flicking through Mrs. Connors's chart. Izzie was the _lamentations_ _resounding_ _perpetually_ _through_ the nurse station, "I think I know how you feel, Cristina."

"What?"

Izzie came close and whispered to Cristina, "The surgery on Dr. Shepherd's first day!"

"Oh, roger that. What are you hovering over?" Cristina rolled her eyes internally, that was a long time ago. It might be important to her once because that led to the first secret that bound Meredith and her, that was the first step towards her person. But now she didn't have time for that cause it had been a long time since she last held a scalpel. She needed to practice. Cristina dropped the chart and made her way towards the morgue.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Izzie didn't stop bugging her.

Cristina waved her hands perfunctorily in the air and replied, "A thing!"

There were lots of bodies in the morgue, Cristina picked a middle-aged man. She held her scalpel and clenched her fist, it felt good. She missed the hospital and the smell of dead people. She carefully sliced open the body's cavity. She pictured every step in her mind in advance. She removed an organ at one step and then stitched them back. She felt the embroider she learnt to kill the time was effective, it could make the stitch more delicate and the thrust of the needle more precise.

"Oh, you're here!" George ran in, short of breath. "Cristina, I need your help."

"What?" She continued with her job without raising her head.

"I'm into Meredith." George set his butt on the band, "I fell for Meredith."

 _Yea, I knew that the first time we met, it was written all over your face._ Cristina answered calmly, "Ok."

"Hey, I'm into Meredith, does that ring a bell for you?"

"Oh, she's more mature and competent than you, what's more, she only see you as her friend, are you sure you wonna chase after her?"

George was dumb-folded, he hesitated before he mumbled, "I...don't know. I have no idea what to do. You two are joint to the hip so I'm asking you."

"Easy-easy." Cristina took off her gloves and washed her hands, she checked the time, it was just the time for Mrs. Connors' surgery. "Tell her and see where she goes, if she accepted then fine, if she said no then give up! Don't waste your time. If you are too scared to ask, I could ask her."

"That's it?" George stalked her into the scrub pre-OP. He was surprised the cold Cristina would offer to help him. The old Cristina would care less about his little crush on Meredith, but now Cristina had lost her friend once, she knew George deserved better than burying himself in self loathing or rush into a marriage he wasn't ready for.

Cristina glanced at the huge tumor on the table, _that's a great challenge to conquer_.

Cristina took out two large chocolates she prepared and gestured to the people in the room, "Want some?" (I know you can't eat anything in the OR, but for the sake of the fiction please ignore it, thank you.)

Bailey broke up a big chunk, "Hope you had plenty of work outs."

Cristina glanced at her with chocolate in her mouth and asked, "Do we have enough blood? She looks like she needs a lot, and patients like her usually have brittle vessels."

"Of course, I already informed the blood bank, they could deliver some here ASAP if needed." Bailey put her hands on her hips.

"But what if it's too late when they arrive? Considering her status, she doesn't look like she could hold much longer." Cristina wouldn't give up.

Bailey glanced at Mrs. Connors for several seconds before she ordered George, "Tell the blood bank to prepare more O neg, and bring more blood." George was surprised that Bailey actually listened to Cristina's advice. Bailey poked him with her elbows, "Go! We have many things at the list."

Cristina blinked at George who was scurrying out, she hoped everything went well and the patient could survive.

The surgery went smooth so far. Burke was still the best surgeon. She missed so much working alongside with him. They used to be the best team.

Bailey watched the exposed blood vessels of Mrs. Connors and wondered, "Look at these, her vessels were wider than my fingers, have you seen such coarse vessels?"

"Her vascular walls are fragile." Cristina was struggling to hold her tumor, "They are extremely fragile and easy to burst."

Burke glanced at her in agreement, "Yes, we need to be very cautious. Sue, tell the bank to deliver more O neg."

Mrs. Connors's surgery was long and slow, the marathon surgery made everybody in the room exhausted. The sex in the morning drained the energy from Cristina's body, she wanted to take over for Burke or Shepherd and just get this over with (remember she's more experienced than the current Burke or Derek). Shepherd was glaring at the open cavity, "How can I scuttle away from the artery?"

Cristina answered automatically to the inquiry, she was too used to that, "Maybe you could start with distal end of the upper artery and avoid the lungs, it could take longer but it's the safer option."

The OR was abruptly silent at her words, Cristina glanced up and added obliviously, "What? I researched." (Yea I know Derek is a neuro surgeon but let's assume he's helping out with Burke.)

"Ok, let's follow Dr. Yang's method." Shepherd took the forceps and exchanged a glance with Cristina, "Good idea, Dr. Yang."

Burke was called out by Izzie to tend to another patient in the surgery. Cristina sighed in distress. _When is this going to end, the tumor is so heavy_. Bailey took over for Burke's job whilst Shepherd glanced up, "Dr. Yang, come here and assist me, Dr. Willis, take over for Dr. Yang."

Cristina stepped up in the jealous looks of George and the interns in the gallery. She finally got rid of the huge burden. She stretched her limbs before she started to assist .  
"Damn it! I can't see anything." Shepherd cursed, "Suction." Mrs. Connors's vessels were too fragile, despite their meticulous move, they burst anyway, "We need more blood."

Cristina grabbed the clamp and instinctively clamped the sides of aorta precisely in the cover of mass amount of blood. She reported calmly, "I find it!"

"Great job, Dr. Yang." Shepherd was too busy to be stunned, he proceeded with his job without hiatus, "Suction, more suction!"  
Bailey sighed in relief, "My god, way to go, Dr. Yang."

"Ok, now we need to be extra careful. If she bled out again, we wouldn't be so lucky."

Mrs. Connors finally managed to hold on until Burke returned. With the cooperation of two attendings, after more than twenty hours of surgery, her tumor was finally removed.

"Great save. You've all had a long day." Chief Weber appeared in the gallery, his kind voice came through the magaphone, "Dr. Yang, you too, way to go!"

Cristina was lying in the bed in the on call room, she was drained. The sound of the door shut came from behind, she turned over her shoulder and saw Burke. She sat up, "I thought you went home."

"No, I didn't." Burke was leaning against the wall facing Cristina, "You did a great job today in that OR."

"Thank you." Cristina chuckled and stretched her arms, "You didn't only come to compliment me, did you?"

"No." Burke was sitting at her side, he glanced at her, "I just want to know, what are we now?" He was insecure about their relationship.

"Well." This time, Cristina sort of understood where he came from, she raised her brows and said, "You want a definition?" She knew Burke came to tell her he wouldn't favour her anymore. She didn't repel against the favour like Meredith used to, somebody even thought that was the only reason she slept with Burke. But this time she didn't need it, she didn't need anyone's approval or compliment. Because this time, she knew what she was capable of. She believed this time she could get the surgeries without anyone's favour. She sensed Burke's awkward tone and continued, "Actually you don't have to favour me because of our relationship."

"Really?" Burke didn't believe her. Everyone knew how much Cristina Yang cared about surgeries.

"Yeah. I'm confident." Cristina was 100% confident in her techniques, "We are not in that kind of relationship, don't worry about it." Even with the old Cristina, she was involved because she loved him, not because she was trading her body for the opportunities to scrub in.。

Burke blinked at her reply. He felt Cristina was different today. Their talk ended at good terms and they proceeded with their booty call relationships.

Cristina spent half a day to tidy the apartment. She checked her account, there was a large amount of money paid by insurance for her father's death plus what she inherited, but she never used them as they reminded her of her dad. With her own savings at hands she bought a decent car.  
"Cristina, are you ok?" Izzie asked when throwing chips into her mouth.  
"Don't worry, Bailey handed my job to Meredith, I'm painfully free." Cristina poured another cup of lemon juice to suppress the upcoming nausea. She grabbed another blueberry cake. She saw Burke shooting sideway glances at her deliberately when he walked past her. Cristina understood his gesture and followed Burke after she bid Izzie goodbye.

"You look exhausted, did you catch a cold?" Burke whispered, "I'll give you a ride home."

"I'm just pale. I wouldn't go home, but I'll take a nap at the on call room."

"This is your lunch?" Burke pointed at the cake in Cristina's hands with dissatisfaction.

"This is a hospital, I'm an intern. Do you expect me to have steak with wine?" Cristina took a bite at her cake, the greasy feeling made her want to vomit before she had a chance to swallow it. She uttered a sorry before she scurried away to the toilet. She didn't want to make a scene in the catwalk.

Burke watched her figure bursting into the bathroom in awe, his words were cut off completely.

Even though she already knew she was pregnant, Cristina bought two sticks form the vending machine because she wanted to make sure. She hoped this time it would be a viable pregnancy. Just as Cristina laid down in the on call room, her pager beeped. Bailey wanted her to assist Shepherd. The surgery went well except for the episode when the anesthetist was asleep in the surgery and the little girl nearly woke up.

Cristina rushed off to the parking lot after her shift. She was surprised to see Burke standing beside her new car. Cristina pressed her keys, the car made a sound. Burke turned around immediately, "The car looks good."

"What are you doing?" It was the time when they switched shifts, the parking lot was pretty swamped. This was definitely not the time for a conversation.

"I have something to ask you." Burke pointed at the car, "Can I?"

Cristina nodded silently and started the engine to leave the hospital.

Cristina drove straight to her apartment. The two grabbed their dinner at the Indian restaurant next door.

Barging into her apartment, Cristina took off her jacket and told Burke, "Make yourself at home."

"You live by yourself?" Burke glanced around, "It's warm and cozy. It's clean."

"Thanks, my mother decorated it. To be frank, you're the first one to drop by except for my mother and the maid." Cristina walked into her kitchen, "What do you want? Coffee, juice? Do you need some red wine?"

"Coffee, thanks." Burke brushed his fingers through the books on the shelf, they were all medical textbooks.

Cristina took the coffee to the table and poured herself a cup of juice, she threw herself into the couch and asked, "So, what do you want to ask?"

Burke was sitting in the sofa facing her, he asked straight to the point, "Are you pregnant?"

"What?" Cristina hesitated, "How do you know? I didn't tell you."

Burke was relieved when Cristina didn't deny it. He liked her, and if she refuse to admit then he couldn't do anything about it, "You caught a cold, you vomited, you stopped drinking coffee this morning. What's most important, I saw you bought the sticks this morning."

"Oh, you saw it." Cristina took the sticks out of her bags, "I'm just guessing. What would you do if I am?"

"We get married and welcome the child." Although she already knew the answer to the question, she couldn't help but feel a mixed emotions of joy, guilt and pain. _He had always wanted to marry her, but he walked away on their wedding day, because he believed walking away was the best thing he could do for her. This time, she wouldn't let him. This time, they could make it work. Because now she knew what Bailey meant, there was never a good time to have kids. They always came out of your expectation. If you were to plan it, you would never have a kid. Her words were sadly a foreshadow of her entire life_. This time, she wanted to welcome her kid.

There were two lines on the stick, she was pregnant. Burke stood up and circled around the living room. He started to gush over, "We're doing an ultrasound tomorrow in the hospital, I'm moving in with you, I'll grab my suitcase now..." He ignored the possibility that Cristina might not want to be a mother, typical Burke. The old Cristina would be screaming at him right now, but lucky for him, he's facing the new Cristina after 50 years.

Cristina sunk into the sofa, she could foresee her chaotic near future. Pregnant intern, not a good choice. She had to plan her future right now. Cristina glanced at Burke who she couldn't tell whether he was in excitement or in frantic.

Cristina was happy after Burke moved in. He took over for grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, everything. It has been a long time since she had a feeling to be taken care of. He made her appetite better as a pregnant woman in her first trimester. The only downside was he was too worried. He was worried about everything. He was worried when she watched TV, he was worried when she read a book, he even asked Cristina to leave the bathroom door open when she was showering.

Cristina was wearing Burke's engagement ring. They didn't deliberately conceal their relationship in the hospital. The whole hospital knew about her pregnancy right now. They would come to work and leave together, sometimes they would eat together in the cafe. At the start, their relationship was quite a bombshell, but soon it was replaced by other affairs in the hospital, for instance, Meredith and Derek. Cristina sighed at the thought of Meredith. She was all happy and bubbly in love with McDreamy now, she wouldn't know he had a wife and she couldn't tell her because then she wouldn't be able to explain how she knew it. Her fellow interns' attitudes were weird. Alex and Izzie rolled their eyes at their presence, even Meredith shook her head.

Cristina knew what they were thinking. The hospital was a casual dating pool. Everyone was sleeping around. They thought of her as the intern screwing her superior's boss to get more chance to scrub in.

The only one that was mad at her was Bailey. She had a Grey and now a Yang, she hated these couples. But the bright side was Burke would rather Cristina staying on bed rest 24/7 at home. That's why he never favoured her in the hospital. Want to scrub in? No way! This lessened her chance to scrub in into the surgery dramatically. Bailey became ok with the couple.

"Cristina, did you wear make up?" Alex was holding his tray, "You're glowing. Looks like somebody is crazy in love."

Cristina glared at him, she was actually pretty content to hear compliments since her pregnancy. Bailey also said something about her glowing. But she wouldn't give up the chance to give her sarcastic comments, "Do you need a laser surgery to correct your myopia?"

"Oh, I am too scared to be against you, Mrs. Burke." Alex made a face, "Seriously, was Burke that cranky when you were together?"

"What happened?" Izzie was chewing her chicken roll.  
"I was kicked off the case."

"You deserve it." Before Cristina could ask for a reason, her psychic patient was paging her, "I got to go, good luck, Dr. Karev."

"You paged me?" Cristina was looking at Burke with her pager in her hand, "I thought my patient paged me."

"I have something to ask." Burke dragged Cristina into a vacant treatment room. He closed the door and opened his mouth after a moment of hesitation, "My patient is a synagogue, he needs to do a bovine mitral valve replacement. But I've never done one and I don't know how to."  
"You're scared." Cristina didn't beat around the bush, "I'm scared too, but I'm willing to give it a try. Ever tried，Ever failed，No matter. Try Again，Fail again，Fail better."

Burke gave a wry smile, "This is very Cristina."

"I'm an intern, I did none of the surgeries but you taught me and then I tried myself. I should be more eager to try because I didn't know anything about it. And in this way, next time, I would." Cristina touched her tummy and spoke for a dare, "He can hear you, be a role model."

Burke pulled up the corner of his lips in defeat, "Okay, I'll research and get someone to assist me. Don't wear yourself out."

Cristina watched him leave before she turned to check on her psychic patient.

Cristina heard from Alex that Burke agreed to do the bovine mitral valve replacement and allowed him to scrub in. Alex knew Cristina helped to convince him so he offered to treat her a decent meal. Cristina was stunned at his uncommon generosity, so she asked Meredith, Izzie and George to join her, she even ordered a takeaway for Burke who was still researching at home. Cristina felt refreshed at Alex's sorry look on his face.

Burke's surgery went well. He was over the moon when he came home that he made a delicious french feast for them regardless of the trouble. Their exercise after the meal was a walk around the civic squares.

Cristina breathed in the fresh scent of the soil after a rain. She felt her mind was refreshed by the clear air in Seattle. She recalled her plans to loosen her finance, she told Burke who was holding a bottle of water in his hands, "I want to make some investment, what do you think?"

"What?" Burke was stunned at her sudden interest, "You don't have enough money? You could have told me."

Cristina shook her head and answered with good humor, "No, I have sufficient deposit, I just want to show you my financial talent."

Burke laughed at her comment, "I'm skeptical."

"I'm genetically predisposed with the talent for investment. My father worked in wall street, he started to teach me how to deal with money since I was little." _Yea, he did, except for the fact that I was indeed not set out to play with finance so he finally gave up. But now I could do this because I knew about the stock market now, I knew apple would experience an inflation_.

She stated with confidence, "Try me, I could surprise you."

Burke considered for a moment and finally nodded to his fiance's first request. But the cost was Cristina was forced to take another half an hour walk. God, she hated exercise.

As for the antenatal training before sleep, Burke would hold a thick _Gray's anatomy_ and read it to Cristina's belly. He didn't only read it, he would also analyze it, which made Cristina fall asleep easily.

The next day Burke went for work as usual whilst Cristina got her day off and decided to stay at home. She glanced at the cheque Burke left beside the coffee pot, it was a million dollars. 2006 was a fantastic year for stock market, but if you were not careful, you could end up without a penny.

Cristina considered for a moment before she decided to find a financial consultant for her to deal with the stocks. She picked several stocks that she remembered would be a great investment before she handed him all her savings and Burke's money. The seed has been planted, now she only need to wait for the fruit.

Burke's friend in college was admitted. Cristina went to check on him, when she was about to leave the room, she bumped into Alex and George. George was smiling awkwardly and Alex had his signature smirk on his face. His eyes was implying clearly that he knew about George's story. Cristina didn't even need to eardrop the gossip mill to find out the truth- George had syphilis. She chuckled at the distant memory when Meredith, Izzie and herself walked into the scene and gave him a shot.

Another not so popular news was the one she heard from Meredith. Chief Webber made a lots of mistakes during the surgery, he even dropped the retractor. Webber also ligated at the wrong place for seceral times. They had no idea what caused this so they assumed he was exhausted or ill, but Cristina knew better.

"So, your friend had an ovary?" Cristina was listening to her boyfriend rambling about his friend's condition as she was having her lunch.  
"Yea. As his friend and doctor, even I find it hard to accept after all these years, let alone himself." Burke was lying on the bank in the on call room. The look on his face was defeated.

"That's for sure, an ovary in a man, that's...sorry!" Cristina whipped out her ringing phone and found it was her stepfather Saul. "Hi, Saul, what's up?" Cristina might not be in good terms with her own mother, but she had a nice relationship with her stepfather.

"Can you still recall my senior in college- Eric?"

Cristina flickered through her distant memory and it hit her, "Yea, I do. The uncle who took me to Hawaii for vacation when I was little."  
"Yea, that's him. Eric has some problems with his heart so his GP suggested that he do a coronary artery bypass. Isn't your fiance a cardio surgeon? He seemed to have a reputation. Eric lived in Belleview, he could come in town in a heartbeat and he would ask for your fiance to perform the surgery on him. I'm just giving you a head up."

Cristina said yes and hung up the phone. She switched her glance to Burke, "An old friend of my step father is coming in town to ask you for an CABG."

"How old is he?"

"Erm...Saul is sixty five, uncle Eric is his senior so he would be at least seventy." Cristina hesitated for a moment before she answered.

"Ok, I got it." Burke nodded before he questioned her again, "I still don't know anything about your family?"

Cristina glanced at him, "My parents divorced when I was two. When I was three, my mother remarried to my current stepfather, they didn't have any other children. My dad died in a car accident when I was nine, I was there and I felt his heart stopped beating. That's the why I decide to become a cardio surgeon. Both my parents including my step father were all single child so I don't have any other relatives. My father has a cousin, she lived in new york but we didn't stay in touch."

Burke straightened his body and apologized, "Sorry, I didn't know your dad..."

"Don't worry, I am past that. At first you felt you couldn't live in a world without him but then you turned out alright." Cristina had faced so many farewells in the past that she ended up numb about everything. She could hardly remember her father's face. She felt sorry for her dad but that's just how she cope with deaths. She wouldn't allow herself to think about it because it was too painful. Often, she didn't find certain people had become such a significant part of her life until they left her. Her dad, Burke, George, Izzie, even Derek. She never saw eye to eye with Derek but when he died a hero she abruptly found that he had become her family. She found that in the last ten years of her life in SGH, her family is Callie, Meredith, Alex, Owen and Derek. She detested him for his savior complex that cost him his life. She hated him for leaving her person behind, raising three kids whilst being a surgeon.

"Do you have siblings?" She put on a light face intentionally. She didn't want to think about her past because her whole life was a battle against the God for taking her loved ones away from her. Cristina Yang never failed at anything, but sadly she failed this battle, all the time.  
"No, I'm the only child and so is my father. My mama has a sister. No other significant relatives except for my aunt."

Chief Webber glared at his staff members from the catwalk, a large percentage of his nurses, residents and interns had syphilis. The relationship of the hospital staff was a mass. He had to order everyone who had had sex with their colleagues to do a blood test. Cristina and Izzie growled at the long line and took pleasure at their misfortune.

"Are you sure you can do this?" Izzie stopped Cristina's hands that were opening the door nob.

"I'm sure, Izzie, just watch me." Cristina patted her on the shoulders before she made her way into the room.

Cristina and Izzie were assigned to do the paracentesis for Mr. Franklin. Cristina followed the protocol step by step, everything went smooth, Mr. Franklin drained a lot of ascites.

"Mr. Franklin, Mr. Franklin!" Izzie called out several times but the patient wouldn't move, she turned to Cristina, "Why isn't he alert?"

Cristina put her index finger at his carotid artery and she couldn't find a pulse. She knew he had an enlarged heart due to the anatomy she performed last time against Bailey's will. This time she decided to save the patient. She quickly pressed the code blue buzzer at the bed side and shouted at Izzie, "Give him epi, get a crash cart."

The epi didn't work well on Mr. Franklin, he didn't react to the shock either. Cristina knew she was left with only one choice. She gloved herself and briefly sterilized herself, under the stunned look of Izzie and the nurses, she grabbed a scalpel and made a clean cut on the left side of Mr. Franklin's chest. Then she put her right hand in his chest and started to do a cardiac massage.

"He has an enlarged heart, Mr. Franklin has cardiopathy." Cristina was sure due to the size of the heart in her hand, "I got a heartbeat, Izzie, intubate him."

Izzie fluttered and followed her instruction. The graph on the ECG indicated that the patient was out of the woods. Cristina finally breathed a sigh of relief. She withdrew her right hand carefully and stopped the bleeding of the incision, "Page Dr. Burke, tell him we need some help here."

Bailey came in together with Burke. Before Burke got a chance to speak, Bailey screamed at them in horror, "I asked you to drain the ascites, not crack his chests, what did you do?"

Cristina was standing calmly at the bedside, "When we were doing the paracentesis, Mr. Franklin had a cardiac arrest, we tried everything but nothing worked so we had to open his chest and do the cardiac massage."

"He has a cardiac history? Why did nobody tell me?" Bailey was on her war path.

"We didn't know either, but when I was massaging his heart, I found it's like twice enlarged and the surface wasn't smooth either. So I guess he has cardiopathy but I don't think he's aware."

"Why didn't you page me?"

"We paged, but you didn't answer and the patient couldn't hold any longer." Izzie mumbled in a low voice.

Bailey hesitated, she knew she must be engaged in the chief's surgery. But even so, she wasn't planning to let go of the two bold interns.

Burke glanced at Cristina, he was clearly pissed off. He was mad at her for being inconsiderate. She had only began her internship for three months and she was already crossing the line and doing the procedures she shouldn't have. If she made one wrong move, she could have jeopardized her career. Even if Burke was pissed, he didn't want his girlfriend to be scolded by Bailey in front of so many other co-workers. He gestured Bailey to stop and turned to the patient. He took off the lump that covered the incision and complimented against his original intension, "Dr. Yang, Dr. Stevens, good job. The incision is smooth, the length is appropriate and no other organs or neurons were harmed. That's not easy to do."

"Thank you, sir." Cristina replied with a low voice. She knew from his look that though Burke was complimenting her, he was actually pretty pissed at her.  
Bailey was skeptical so she stepped up and took a look herself. Indeed, the incision was skilled, it avoided the vessels to the largest extent. There wasn't much bleeding. _Even if she were to do it herself, she couldn't ensure she would do a better job than Cristina did._ She glanced at Burke in confusion. _This cut was done by an intern? Her boyfriend must have taught her a hell of skills!_

Izzie and Cristina finally made through Bailey's warpath. After multiple tests, they found that Mr. Franklin had Recklinghausen-Applebaun disease, which is a genetic disorder and could be inherited. They didn't only save Mr. Franklin's life, they also saved his daughter's. They were therefore allowed to scrub in. Burke arranged both the father and the daughter to have the surgery tomorrow.

After they were out of the room, Burke dragged Cristina into a random on call room. His face was the opposite of compliment he gave previously, he scolded, "Did you ever give it a thought what would happen if you did it wrong? Not only you, Stevens and Bailey would all be involved, are you jeopardizing your reputation? How could you take the responsibility if anything went wrong? You could have..."

Cristina didn't interrupt him like she always did. She stayed silent and sat at the bank, waiting for him to let out his frustration. She didn't get it when she was an intern why Owen and Burke were all so mad at her when she performed an advanced procedure on the patients, even if she did it to save their lives. She used to think they were skeptical about her skills. But now she was once in their shoes and she had Shane, her student who did the same thing, she knew now they were not skeptical about her skills or doubting her. They were just worried about her.

Burke took it out on Cristina for a while and then his rage disappeared gradually. Looking at the obedient look on her face, he felt a click sent down his spine. He loved and hated her at the same time when she was quiet, because that usually meant she knew she did something inappropriate. God knew how scared he was when he received the page. Why did she have to be reckless? Why didn't she for once think twice before she did it?

"Burke." Cristina sensed that he had stopped. She wiggled her fingers at him and said, "come here."

"What?" Burke didn't hesitated, he sat by her side.

Cristina wrapped her arms around his neck. She reached out and brushed her lips against his. Since he was on fire, she wouldn't mind to add fuel to the fire. She had learned by times that the best way to stop him is distracting him by certain shenanigans.

Cristina hadn't seen Meredith for the whole night, even Bailey and Shepherd were nowhere to be seen. It suddenly occurred to her that they were doing the surgery on chief Webber. She chuckled when she recalled how mad Bailey was when she caught Izzie and her slicing the patient open without the family's consent. She could still remember Izzie's stunned face finding out that she took a textbook with her.

Cristina flopped down on the bed. She was checking the stock market. Burke was upset that Webber told Shepherd, Bailey, even Meredith about his episode but neglected to tell him. Burke always considered himself one of the most promising surgeon in GSM, the one Webber trusted the most and the best CT surgeon. However, this time Webber proved him wrong. He thought he had a connection with the chief, the awareness of being alienated hurt him to the core (yea I always think Webber played an important role for Burke leaving GSM, apparently he wanted Shepherd to be the temporary chief at first, he only changed his mind when he found out about Meredith. Burke deserves better.)

"You should know better." Cristina traced her finger across the rocketing yield curve and smirked in satisfactory, "He was Shepherd's mentor, he handpicked him to work in GSM. Bailey was always the next chief of surgery in Webber's eyes."

"Then why even Grey knew before me?" Burke was staring at the roof, his eyes glinted with disappointment.

"Because she's Ellis Grey's daughter."

"I know, I just..."

"had a chip on your shoulder?" The onlookers see most of the game. Burke wasn't as highly regarded as he thought he was. He was too preoccupied to see through it. But Cristina figured it was time he become cold sober. She knew Webber was not going to name him chief. "But it doesn't matter."

"That's the understatement of the year. Of course it matters!" Burke couldn't understand what Cristina was thinking about. She used to be such a suck-up.

Cristina held Burke's hands in her palms, straightened herself and said to him seriously, "Why do you care? It's not worth it. As much as I hope it would be, Grey-Sloan Memorial is not the best hospital in the world, it doesn't even count as top ten. It wouldn't even be a blip on your radar, it's not your ever after. You will reach higher, you will make a huge leap. So why do you care?" Cristina had been on top of the world before, so she knew better. Yes, GSM was and will always be special to her but nothing here ended up good. Burke is a very talented surgeon, he worked hard, he practiced, and he still has a long way to go. GSM isn't going to be enough for him, just like it wasn't for her.

Burke looked straight into her eyes. The sparkle in his eyes switched from confusion to determination. He embraced Cristina, his tone firm, "I'm the best."

"Always have, always will."

The next day, Burke was appointed deputy chief. If he hadn't known the truth, he would be much happier that the chief trusted him enough to take over his hospital. But now...Burke shook his head and told himself again to focus on the tasks at hands. Addison was here and Shepherd was screwing Grey. He knew that was why Webber gave him the job. He was his second choice.

Burke knocked the door before he came into Webber's room.

Webber glanced at him and asked, "What? Any questions?"

Burke didn't kick around the bush, "Do you know about Cristina Yang and me?"

"Yeah I heard. Attendings are not allowed to involve with interns, I hope you won't let me down."

"I've heard about Dr. Shepherd. I don't know what the gossip mill had been talking about Cristina and I, but I think it's important that you know the truth. Cristina is my fiance, we engaged last month. Plus, she's pregnant." Burke could only imagine the chief's darkened face, but he couldn't care less. He still respected him, but he was not the same man as he was before he met Cristina. He still loved GSM, but now he had a higher goal. He wouldn't let the woman he love down.

It was true that the chief was not in a good position. However, they weren't anything like Meredith and Derek. They were single and he wasn't too surprised to hear that they were engaged. It wasn't like it was immoral or he could do anything to break it. Although he was pissed that all of his attendings crossed the line to hook up with interns, he knew better not to comment on their personal lives. "You came to me and explained. It's clear that she means something to you. And you're both single so I won't object to it. But just remember, she's still an intern as everybody else is. DO NOT favour her." He hesitated before he spoke again, "Dr. Yang could transfer to OB if necessary, but the choice is at your hands."

Burke became the temporary chief and Cristina offered to be his assistant as she could clearly see Burke was miserable with all the paperwork , decisions and arrangements. With her help, Burke became familiar with all the chief stuff much quicker than he thought it would take. Except for the ones he had to show up, like staff meetings, he offered all his jobs to Cristina. In this way, he could make more time for surgeries- he was more interested in the standstill surgery he's going to perform with Shepherd.  
Cristina had a great time with Patricia- Webber's secretary. Cristina handled things as crafted as Patricia. The two of them worked together and made the surgical department in perfectly good order. If faced with someone who questioned her ability, she would ignore him and use her actions to rebuttal. She had been the director of a research-oriented hospital for the last fifty years. She couldn't more familiar with it.

Cristina was already into her first trimester, Meredith and other interns still couldn't believe that she's not only marrying Burke but also giving birth to a kid. This made them feel weird- the Cristina that was unable to commit was making a family from scratch. Cristina used her actions to speak her brilliance, to tell the world that she's not that girl who had slept her way up. The dominating and clean-cut style she showed made it hard for people to believe she was actually just an intern, or the intern knocked up by her boss. Instead, they referred to her as the soon-to-be Mrs. Burke.

"Cristina, sweet heart, long time no see." Uncle Eric was finally admitted. The old man with snow-white hairs was staying positive. He felt he was pretty rigid and could live much longer.

Eric patted Burke on the shoulder. He sounded content with him. He chuckles, "Chap, call me Eric."

Burke took in his message, "Nice to meet you, Eric."

The family members came with Eric were his son Arron and his grandson Kevin. Arron was in his fifties. He was way older than Cristina. She remembered meeting him a few times when she was little. It felt ages ago to her now. His son Kevin was four years younger than her. He graduated from UC Berkeley as well, just not in her cohort. Kevin had attended her puberty rite.

Burke set Eric to do the full work up and arranged a time for the surgery.

Eric was a humorous old guy. Cristina was constantly amused by him. The nurses in the surgical ward also adored him.

"Yang, I need an OR. The guy swallowed judy dolls need to get into surgery ASAP." Bailey stopped Cristina at the nurse station and presented her the X-rays, "I heard you're in charge."

Cristina glanced at the X-rays and moved her lips. She recalled the chaos when Alex found out the guy swallowed Judy dolls instead of drugs. She thought about it for a while and approved, "OK, OR2 is available in half an hour, you can use it first."

"Thanks, Dr. Yang. Karev, prep the patient."

Watching Bailey slowly left, Meredith put her arms against her chest, "That's rare. Nazi was actually kind to an intern."

"Don't you think I'm borrowing power to do evil?"

"Yea." Meredith nodded, "Kind of. But Cristina, how could you be so natural with running a hospital? I bet even Burke couldn't have done any better."  
"My stepfather has his own practice. I worked there a bit in vacation. No more talking about me, how did it go with McDreamy?" Cristina chuckled. She knew mentioning Derek would always mute Meredith. She didn't always see eye to eye with him, but she knew he's the one true love for Meredith. She sweared to herself that she would try her best to stop her family from getting hurt.

"Oh, I'm going to work." As she expected, Meredith's fake smiley face stiffened and she left without looking back.

Not long after Burke was in the position of deputy chief was Webber back to work. Patricia was hoping Cristina could continue helping out with the administration stuff, but Cristina declined. Just as Owen once mentioned, she wasn't cut out for administration work.

Cristina had a talk with Burke and they decided to switch to a house with bigger space before their child is born. Both their apartments were 1D1K. Cristina would have been content living in the apartment in her previous life because that meant Burke's mama had to live in the hotel if they came to visit and she could avoid her. But she knew from her experience that having a good relationship with your in laws were crucial. Just look at how awkward things were with Meredith and Derek's sisters when she asked them to donate their nerves to her husband. She couldn't even bother to call them herself, instead she asked her mousy to do so. This time, Cristina wanted to try to remain good terms with Burke's mama.

Life of an intern was always hustling and bustling. Some interns of Dr. Gupta had already quitted their jobs. On the one hand, Meredith began to call Shepherd McDreamy again. Cristina tried to talk her out of it. She could still remember clearly the panties on the bulletin board. She didn't want Meredith to be the dirty mistress. On the other hand, Meredith couldn't suppress her feelings for him anymore. She even adopted a dog and pretended to be his friend.

The chief had talked with Cristina several times since he returned. He wanted her to transfer to another specialty, dermatology, OB, peds or hospice care.

Cristina didn't like being manipulated. She could only take so much crap from attendings of this hospital. She was abandoned at the altar. She was ignored by Hahn for months. She had been through the Teddy-Owen drama and Teddy-widow drama. She was depleted from Harper Avery just because the hospital was run by the foundation. She knew Webber was a good teacher, but in her eyes, he wasn't a good leader. He let his personal likings or dislikings stood in the way of the development of the hospital. When it came to a choice, he would always be on Meredith's side, even when she was technically wrong.  
"It's either stay or leave. I'm not going to deliver babies. And I'm not worried about my employment." Cristina replied, "Chief you should be worried about losing a promising cardio surgeon." She would definitely take Burke to leave with her.  
Cristina's threat was effective. Webber stopped forcing her to leave the surgical ward and Cristina needed a surgery to indicate her skills. She's no longer the number one in interns, she's also number one in residents. And she wanted the chief and all her co-workers to acknowledge her brilliance and knew it would be the hospital's loss if they lose her. She's not Burke's attachment or shadow. She's a top notch surgeon.

The chance came soon. There was an accident in Seattle and the ER was swamped with injured patients.

"If you feel worn out, go to the on call room and take a nap." Burke stopped Cristina who was running straight to the crowd, "Keep in mind, you're not alone anymore."

"I'll." Cristina glanced at the patients at the ER. Appropriate time, place and accident. Though it was inappropriate, she had to admit she was turned on by the bloody patients. "Go, do your job. Don't worry about me."

Burke walked away, he was still looking back whilst he was walking. Cristin a took a close look at the patients. The severely injured ones were already sent to the OR. She just needed to find out the potential severe ones not discovered. When she was stitching the patients, she found a middle-aged male that she suspected had internal bleeding. And another young boy with brain injury who was acting weird. She set them for CT and confirmed her initial diagnoses. Disrupted liver and spleen, she need to operate on them ASAP. Cristina paged Bailey immediately, but Bailey was elbows deep in the two patients connected by the pole. So she end up making resident German and Houston operating on the two patients.

Cristina scrubbed in OR 3 with German to perform repair of rupture of spleen and liver. German was a third year resident. She was on call for last two days and she was exhausted. Her hands were stiffened and she nearly sliced the aorta. Cristina stopped her at once and grabbed the scalpel from her.

German didn't show reluctance. She stepped back and yield her surgery to Cristina. She exhaled deeply and sighed. She was really worn out.

The surgery was a success. Cristina returned to the pit to help out a bit after her surgery and didn't return to the on call room until it was nearly morning.

Rainy seattle was sunny this morning. When Cristina woke up, Burke already brought her breakfast. Helen flied to seattle to check on her pregnant daughter a few days ago. She was genuinely surprised that Cristina was getting married. After she tortured Cristina for two days, she finally returned to LA, which made Cristina relieved. Burke's mama was coming. There's no way she could handle two mothers at the same time.

Recently, Cristina's work was significantly easier. Bailey stopped bossing her around to do enamas or delivering labs. Instead she gave her more opportunities to scrub in. All the other interns were jealous, even Meredith was mad at her for being treated specially. German supervised Cristina on several routine procedures and let her do a solo colon removal and a intestinal polyp removal. Webber observed from the gallery and remained silent afterwards. He was impressed.

Izzie found the pregnant man with teratoma and she planned to surprise Meredith and cheered her up because she was having rough days recently. Everyone was staring and pointing at her like she was some kind of animal in the zoo. George was still into Meredith. Cristina cringed as she recalled how hurt George was after he slept with Meredith.

As Bailey was into his third trimester, the interns were assigned with increasing workloads. But she was kinder to Cristina as they were sort of 'belly buddy'. Cristina's expected date was one month earlier than Bailey. They discovered she was expecting a girl at the ultrasound. Burke was over the moon. He thought girls were cute and he couldn't wait to see little Cristina.

At thanksgiving, Burke and Cristina both had the day off. They went shopping at the mall and bought lots of baby girl clothes. Burke found some timber in the new house, he planned to make a crib from scratch. Cristina seriously doubt it. But since he was indulged in the new parent euphoria, she decided to keep her mouth shut.

Cristina turned down Izzie's invitation to have thanksgiving dinner together because unlike last time, this time Burke's parents came from Alabama to celebrate the festival with them. Jane Burke was a successful woman. She was serious, elegant and arrogant. Cristina didn't get why a career woman opening her own restaurant expected her daughter in law to quit her job and be a house wife at home. Jane was visibly dissatisfied with Cristina's surgical routine. She wanted to complain several times but were all stopped by Donald Burke.

Cristina never cooked after Burke moved in, but she wanted to impress Jane and hopefully engage her in eating rather than talking. She talked Burke into letting her take over for the thanksgiving dinner. Cristina cooked some easy stuff such as salads, pastas and desserts and bought rest of them from an Italian restaurant.

Mr and Mrs. Burke finally arrived from the hotel. They took wines with them. Mr. Burke hugged Cristina with a smile on his face. Mrs. Burke just nodded politely. Cristina wouldn't expect more from her. She would be over the moon if Jane just focus her energy on eating rather than interrogating her.

"When is your wedding?" Jane abruptly raised her question whilst she was still having her smoked salmon. Cristina was snapped out of her thought. She knew she had a battle to fight.

"We're planning to have the wedding after our daughter is born." Burke took the lead.

"Did Cristina's parents approve?" Jane was clearly not happy with the answer. But it was better than not getting married.

"Yea, they're ok." Cristina nodded. Her parents would be content that she was even planning to have a husband.

"I heard Preston said your parents are doctors?"

"My stepfather is an oral surgeon."

"Do you plan to switch your specialty? An oral surgeon like your stepfather sounds good. Could suit you well."

Cristina glanced at Burke. She knew she was facing the same situation again. "I have the same goal as Preston. You're going to support us, won't you?"

Jane's face darkened. She uttered a yes and stopped mentioning the same topic.


End file.
